So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
