she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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