garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
