Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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