Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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