I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
