WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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