dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
