Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
