very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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