"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
