I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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