If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
