If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
