What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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