Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
