i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
