You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Are we still banned from the library?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm experimenting with sincerity
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
