and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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