i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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