I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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