everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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