Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
