some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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