Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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