The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
