I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
