so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
