Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
