You're so nebulous sometimes
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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