i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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