my sisters under your porch take her home
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
