How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
