and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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