im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
