I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
