Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize