I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
