theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
