she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
