My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
