i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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