I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize