I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
