i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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