no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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