So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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