I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
