God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm like, not good at living.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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