Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize