I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Bring me that man meat
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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