I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
