come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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