He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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