I need help removing her.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize