oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
